


Bees

by Pinklady6457



Category: Gravity Falls, Rick and Morty
Genre: Bees, Crack Fic, Guns, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-19 08:55:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29623812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinklady6457/pseuds/Pinklady6457
Summary: This is for Justin Roiland’s birthday. Congrats on the birth :).
Relationships: Stan Pines/Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty)
Kudos: 7





	Bees

It was an odd afternoon in whatever the Hell town Rick and the Smith family lived in. Ever since Rick’s marriage to Stanley Pines, the Pines family also lived with them. Stanley, Stanford, Dipper, Mabel (who were both adults at this point) and Stanford’s two illegitimate sons (who were also adults with good jobs).

“So, uh,” Morty squeaked out like the awkward adolescent that he is, “boy, nothing strange will happen today, isn’t that right Rick?”

“Y-YYeah yeah.” Rick said, drinking down an entire bottle of vodka. “Totally nothing strange will happen at all today. Y-You know. Your sister’s taking an art class, your parents are in New York to take a look at historical th-things for their anniversary, despite there being a massive global pandemic. Absolutely nothing strange will happen today-“

Dipper and Mabel ran in the house, pressing their backs against the door.

“Hey guys, there’s a bunch of giant outer space murder hornets outside.” Mabel informed. 

“FUCK!”

It was true, swarming outside of the house were these huge mother fucking hornets, like ten feet long, with like  _ really _ big stingers. 

The two other old men and two younger men ran out.

“Babe, what’s happening?!” Stanley questioned.

“Rick, I swear to God, if you had anything to do with this-“

“Why do you assume it’s always my fault when shit hits the fan?!” Rick yelled at Ford.

“Guys, guys, chill the fuck out.” Henry said, the younger of Ford’s sons. He was a blonde with wavy hair over his shoulders with tan skin, freckles, and brown eyes. He loves the color pink, shopping, painting his nails, shooting guns, and fucking hot girls.

“How do we chill out, there’s giant hornets outside!” Morty’s voice cracked. 

“ _ What _ ?” Marcus said, the older of Ford’s sons. He was half black with coily hair tied in a man bun, muscular, had dark blue eyes, and was the tallest at six and a half feet and had a French accent. He loves gardening, reading books, femboys, and being the most functional bisexual in the house. Or generally being the most functional person in the house.

“You heard it from us!” Dipper said.

“What do we do?!” Stanley screamed. 

Rick pressed a button on his watch which caused the entire wall to open, revealing a myriad of weapons.

“ _ No more bees. _ ” He muttered. “Everyone take a gun. We’re going to shoot these mother fuckers down!”

“You’re a genius babe!” Stan eagerly took a gun.

“But I don’t know how to shoot a gun!” Marcus screamed.

“You’ll learn.” Morty assured him.

Everyone was equipped and ready with their fully loaded guns. They inched towards the door, just about to head out when-

“Wait.” Stanley said. “Rick, if we die during this, just know that I love you. Always have and always will.”

“Babe, if we survive this, we are so having sex after this.” Rick said.

Morty made a face and opened the door, causing Henry to run out screaming. “TAKE THIS YOU BEE MOVIE REJECT FUCKS!” He immediately began shooting and aiming them at the bees, getting shockingly good accuracy. The Pines twins and Ford soon joined in, and eventually Marcus and Morty when they realized Rick and Stanley won’t be getting out so quickly. 

Whenever the bees were shot, they would explode, releasing purple goop everywhere. It was a long and hard battle which lasted for about fifteen minutes, but in the end, there was a whole lot of purple goop and dead bees. 

Everyone was cheering, high fiving and doing terrible victory dances because none of them knew how to dance. The perfect ending. 

Except it wasn’t. A green portal appeared and a girl fell from it. A tall, pale, sexy thicc curly haired brunette woman. She turned her head over to show off her blue eyes and beautiful lips. 

“Selena?” Ford questioned, tears in his eyes. His child! His youngest child! (?)

“I’m back bitches. It’s been some time, but I’m back.” She said.

Ford and her half brothers went to hug her. “What happened?” Ford asked her. 

“I think that George Washington got me pregnant.”

“Wait, what-“

THE END


End file.
